Your SQ
How Your Social Quotient Can Create a Calming Influence
“Empathy is the essential building block for compassion. We have to sense what another person is going through, what they’re feeling, in order to spark compassion in us.”
If there was ever a time for us to be able to be socially aware, it is now. We are collectively going through a great deal together. I hope it will bring us together and not tear us apart. The COVID-19 Pandemic has far-reaching impact. We can not ignore how people are feeling. We know many who are feeling isolated. We know that there is an abundance of fear. I want to encourage us to be a resource for solace in this difficult time.
You are doing a great job of calming the financial fears of your clients already. I believe we can offer them even more by raising our awareness and deepening our concern for their overall well-being.
Empathy is understanding, sensitivity, and feeling what another feels. Now is a time we can truly relate to how others might be feeling. Now is a time to tap into your own social intelligence.
Just like you can measure intelligence with IQ, scientists and psychologists have investigated measuring social prowess using SQ. Don’t confuse IQ and SQ. Having a high IQ does not guarantee a high SQ and vice versa. You probably know a brilliant person who is socially awkward and someone who is a real social butterfly that couldn’t pass the FINRA Series 7.
The key to social intelligence is, indeed, empathy. If you are self-absorbed, you will not score well on social intelligence. Being sensitive to others, relatable, and helpful can build your business and your satisfaction with life simultaneously. This has always been the case, but now it is even more essential.
I’d like to take a moment to share how I see Social Intelligence as differing somewhat from Emotional Intelligence though they are often brought up at the same time. Here are a few bullet points:
Social Intelligence vs. Emotional Intelligence
Expressiveness skills / Emotionally aware
Recognize what makes people tick / Recognize and can manage their emotions
Empathetic / Control responses
Listen well / Recognize negative thought patterns
Draw people in / Don’t move people away
Last year, we had a WebEx on “How to Avoid the Amygdala Hijack.” This is where a person has an immediate and overwhelming emotional response to what they perceive to be a significant threat. The fight-or-flight response is an example of this. While it can be helpful in the case of a fire, it can be harmful in the case of a perceived but not real threat.
You have probably had an amygdala hijack at some point, and you have more than likely seen someone else have one as well. I think of Emotional Intelligence as catching this type of behavior in yourself and making modifications when you are not dealing with a real threat (or fire). The WebEx was about how to do just that.
An example of Social Intelligence within our world is helping someone else avoid an amygdala attack. When someone is ready to pull all their money out of their IRA because of a market downturn, it may be a perceived but not real threat. We have had to walk a few people off that ledge in the past few weeks. When you do this for yourself, it’s emotional intelligence, when you help another, it’s social intelligence. Of course, we want to have both!
I’d like you to think about Social Intelligence when you are having conversations over the next few weeks; try to sense what the other person is experiencing in their world right now. Use all the things you have learned to let them know they are not alone in this and that you care. I know you do, I just want to be sure they know you do.
I am again encouraging you to turn on those Skype and WebEx cameras and look into their eyes. See their body language and listen to their tone. Letting go of your own concerns for that moment you will find that you can bring them an invaluable resource, a message of hope.
Consider participating in this brief (10 min) Oxford/Harvard Research Study.
I cannot see your eyes right now, but I still want you to know that we care for your personal well-being and we are honored to be of service to you. We will stand by you and see you through. Thanks for being part of the Jambalaya family.
This is just for you. We hope it will lift your spirit and keep you in a place where you can continue to serve with excellence.
About the Author
Bernie DeLaRosa, CFP®, ChFC®, CRPC®, CLU®, APMA®, CASL®, BFA™
Managing Business Consultant
- Mergers/Acquisitions/Practice Sales
- Legal Agreement Definition
- Advisor Leadership Skills
- Initial Practice Assessment